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Abby E. Smith

/ heart writing

you’re only human

Learning a lot about releasing control these days, not only in parenting but also in my personal life. My perfectionist tendencies are getting a good knock up-side the head.

Randomly, or more providentially, I started a book this week that turns out couldn’t have come at a better time in my life. A time of some burnout, trying to figure out what the heck I’m doing with my days as a wife, mom, friend & creative person all wrapped up into one.

— Here are a few words I read in just the first chapter of this book that struck a chord and allowed me to release a little breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding in.

“What we do matters. We can and do change things. BUT when we suppose that we can control all our circumstances, we soon find that we can’t.

We don’t say the words, but we live as though the weight of the world were on our shoulders. And it exhausts us. Behind the patient grin on our faces we hide a lingering rage about the endless demands that must be met, unrealized dreams, and rational disappointments.

The odd thing is that, even when we run into our inevitable limits, we often hang on to the delusion that if we just work harder, if we simply squeeze tighter, if we become more efficient, we can eventually regain control.

We imagine that we can keep our children safe, our incomes secure, and our bodies whole …

Denying our finitude cripples us in ways we don’t realize. It also distorts our view of God and what Christian spirituality looks like.

“We must rediscover that being dependent creatures is a constructive gift, not a deficiency.”

Kelly M. Kapic – You’re Only Human

/ lifestyle

TINY LIVING : BABY EDITION

“My space is small, my life is big”
– g r a h a m   h i l l –

And so, just like that, I’m back here. Seven months later, full gear into being a mama, and ready to give a small update on baby life in a tiny home. It’s been a heck of a ride already, with it’s sweet cozy moments but not without it’s hair-raising frustrations.

First off, what I tell everyone who asks, “Tiny living with a baby is totally doable, just not always comfy.” Little people really are happy with less, and while they do come with a laundry list of things they need, I’m finding you can always narrow that list down to be even more basic. The biggest hump I had to get over was learning to tune out the chattering voices of our consumer culture of “Every baby needs this!” and instead being willing to start with less and adapt as I went.  This may sound like common sense, but it was an essential way to think about bringing our baby into our tiny lifestyle. Because truthfully, all those registry lists out there of things I thought were necessities, well I just knew they wouldn’t logically fit into one small closet and a corner of our bedroom. So by necessity really, I had to think minimally and get away with having just the very basics. And turns out, it’s been so freeing!

+THINGS WE FOUND WE COULD DO WITHOUT
(Now they definitely make life more comfortable, but in a tiny house wiggle room is sometimes wayyy more valuable. )

+ CHANGING  TABLE
When bb outgrew her bassinet, something had to go in her nursery corner to make more room for her crib. The changing table was the only thing I could think of that “could” go. Since we had a changing basket and Hatch changing pad, our bed would be fine for a makeshift changing table since it wasn’t be used during the day and night diaper changes were becoming minimal. I got a few IKEA baskets to store wipes, diapers and extras in, and three months into this switch it’s working just fine. When not in use the changing baskets slides under our rocking chair.

+BABY DRESSER
Bb didn’t get her own dresser from the beginning simply because there just wasn’t room for one. I definitely miss having an organized system to keep her clothes in, but some IKEA baskets for the leggings, shirts and onesies and wooden hangers for rompers and dresses is working just fine for now.

 

+BABY CONTAINERS (Swings, bouncer seats, jungle gyms)
Once again, these are wonderful to have, but in our tiny space there just wasn’t enough floor space without me tripping over them all day. In the first few months we started with a bouncer seat that we borrowed which was hugely helpful to have a place to sit Gwen when I needed to do some things around the house, but once she outgrew it I just new we needed to keep things simple without buying anything else. Turns out, a blanket on the floor with lots of teether toys, books and simple household items does the trick most of the time. PLUS, I’m learning a lot that letting babies have as much tummy time on the floor as possible can be one of the best moves for their development. The one baby container that we do have and love is a door jumper which can easily can be taken down and stored in a small space when not in use.

+THINGS WE LOVE AND HAVE FOUND HELPFUL

+ IKEA Baskets
Wool ones for clothes, plastic ones for blankets and diapers, straw ones for toys in the living room. It’s seriously the best way to hide all the baby clutter while making things look minimal, cute, and man they’re functional.

+Foldable Baby Bathtub
Since our tiny bathroom only has a standup shower, we started out with a Puj sink bath which only lasted a few months before baby outgrew it. So I scoured Amazon before scoring on a foldable baby bathtub that has been so helpful. Fits in the shower to save the splashes, and folds up easily to save space. Game changer!

+Sound Machine
This really has been a lifesaver! Because normal noisy life has to happen during naptime and bedtime, and when there is only one wall separating all that from a sleeping baby, even just a small amount of white noise helps block it out.

+Giant Ziploc Flexible Totes
Perfect for storing away those waves of clothes they grow out of. Easily stored under the crib or in our case, a spare corner behind the crib.

+IKEA Laundry Bag
Looks cute, super functional. Enough said.

+Blackout Shades
They were something I thought I could do without, but after bb was about a month old and was only napping 15min in our bright bedroom, it was a desperate Amazon purchase that saved naptime. I honestly sleep better too which is a win! 🙂

So, in a nutshell, this is what we’ve been learning so far. Far from having it together and trust me there I times I just long for more space that a 3 bedroom house would give us. But at the same time I know I’ll look back on these days with sweet reminisce. Our lives truly are so full, even if our space is small.

/ lifestyle

Living Tiny : Nursery

“Appreciate this moment. Stop and look around you.
Be thankful for all you have and where you are
because this time next year, nothing will be the same.”
R. H. Sin 

Well, so much has happened since my last post in September. It increasingly feels like lifetimes ago when in reality it’s only been nine months. The sweetest nine months of my life, growing a little person inside whose arrival is anticipated any day now.
Pregnancy has lived up to the rollercoaster status I always heard of. Weird sickness, high and low emotions, days of subtle change, slowing down but staying active, and ultimately just the physical and mental preparation for a new tiny little sidekick. I’ve absolutely loved it. Loved the absolute JOY of hearing a strong heartbeat, a daily swift kick to the ribs, picking a namesake, and inhaling the sweet scent of freshly laundered baby clothes. But oddly, even the not so glamorous parts of this journey hold a special place for me. The discomforts are so real, the uncertainty very trying, and kissing your favorite pair of jeans goodbye is in truth just painful. But, the discoveries I unearthed. The strength I found in the Lord when physical strength was at rock bottom. The control I had to relinquish when I realized I couldn’t produce a single outcome. The leaning upon others emotionally + reaching out for encouragement when hormones played dirtiest. When treasures like these self-discoveries are brought into the light, I can’t help but marvel at the circumstances that brought them about and the Lord who orchestrated them.
It’s been a wild, beautiful ride.

Through the many transitions and physical changes over the past few months my main jam has been getting to shop and prepare a little corner for our little miss to call her own. It’s been almost exactly one year since we moved into our little tiny cottage, and it’s been so neat to see all the changes it’s been through since then. On the cusp of the positive pregnancy test, I knew fitting a nursery into 400 sq ft of already functional + tight living space was definitely a creative undertaking, so my brainstorming started really early. Pinterest, as always, was my main inspiration. Finding encouragement through other bloggers that tiny nurseries are totally possible to achieve, while also making them cute and affordable at the same time.
Erin at Reading My Tea Leaves has been my inspiration from day one of our tiny living, her resources and minimal style are a source of constant encouragement and brain food.
Her Baby Proof series was especially inspiring as I began nursery prep.

I found it funny that throughout my pregnancy I got numerous comments about if we had plans to move to a larger home because a baby was on the way. And while these comments were well meaning, it made me think more about how much our American culture of “more is better” expects so much from new parents. The pressure to buy a house with 3 bedrooms, purchase that mini van, or have x amount of financial security in place before you’re “ready” to have a baby. I say this without judgment and merely as an observation that I find a little saddening. Each individual couple obviously needs to evaluate and make a wise decision about timing and what’s best for their family, and that very well might involve that fenced in back yard and large nursery space (because, yes, those are amazinggg to have). But I also realized just how lacking the encouragement was that all of those good things don’t have to be standard and that smaller spaces can definitely work even when adding a new family member, it just takes dusting off a little creativity.

All this to say, it’s been a really fun challenge for me! I love what tiny living has taught me when it comes to minimalism and simplicity. I knew I had one corner of our bedroom to work with for a nursery space, so starting there I began evaluating what we already owned that would be functional in the space and then jotting down a list of the additions we would need to add. Coming up with a “style” was very simple because I wanted her little corner to really be an extension of our home style, which sticks along the lines of clean, natural + textured. I’ve never been big on the color stereotypes of “pink for girl and blue for boy”, so I went against the grain here and made very gender neutral decisions for this space. It integrates better into the rest of our bedroom but also I hope to get lots of future use out of almost everything which is a huge plus.

Based on my style, I knew I could find almost every new addition from IKEA, and I wasn’t wrong.
IKEA always nails it for me when it comes to simple living, and their organizational solutions for small spaces are hard to beat. One big shopping trip with my mama and sister resulted in the space coming together in the space of one evening. Everything that we decided not to purchase new was a FaceBook marketplace find, which I highly recommend doing when deciding on baby purchases. So many mamas receive items as baby gifts or use them one time before deciding it didn’t work for their kiddos so you can find so many options that have been used once or maybe not at all, for almost half the original price. So if you don’t mind something not coming new in the package I highly suggest this option. Plus, it’s always cause for celebration when you score the item you were looking for and the treasure hunt element is pretty much the best.
A couple of the items we found used:
Moses Basket + Stand
SnuggleMe Organic Lounger Pillow
UppaBaby Cruz Stroller
Accordion Hanging Rack

A rocker/glider was actually at the bottom of my “need” list to begin with, but as time went on I knew it was something I would regret not having. It was a harder search than I anticipated! I really was going for something that didn’t have a distinctive “nursery glider” look. For multiple reasons: integrating the nursery into our bedroom, space allowances, and honestly I’m just not a fan of the look. Also, I loved the idea of getting something that I could easily transition into another living space of our house if I no longer needed a nursery space. Finding affordable options was the hardest part for sure, so when my parents found one through Sena Nelson’s IG and gave it to us as a sweet gift, I was floored. I absolutely love it and can totally see us using it in other rooms of our home in later years.

Our biggest small space solution was to start out with a bassinet only. I considered that we wouldn’t even be using a crib at the very beginning so that it would be wasted space at this point. I considered going with a mini crib, which is a wonderful option as well, but in the end I just personally loved the Moses basket too much to give it up. Also, the portability of the basket was really appealing to me. After our little bb is six months it will be time to add the crib to this space, but we decided to cross that bridge when we came to it. Simple really is better in a small space, especially if you crave a little more wiggle room and don’t want to be stepping over or around non essentials. You are adding the tiniest person to your family, take into account how much stuff a tiny little human really needs to be happy, it’s an important thing to consider and can save you a bunch of stress and overspending.

A couple of take aways from this section of “Living Tiny” . . .

1. Evaluate your essentials – Do your research, ask more experienced mamas what they use and love, consider your budget, and go with the bare necessities at the beginning. Worst comes to worst, you can always buy that diaper pail after baby arrives if you find you really need it. 🙂 

2. Consider your style – Nailing down a style is so helpful! It will give you direction as you look for new items or to think outside the box about the things you already have in your home. Plus, when you shop, it opens up a ton of options that may not be in the “nursery” category.

3. Don’t give in to the pressure – I’m learning only nine months in to this parenting journey that the pressure to do things a certain way will always be a factor. Don’t let that discourage you. Everyone has their opinion and suggestions of what you should do as a parent and that definitely translates over even to your living space. So much possibility is out there and freedom to use so much of what you have. Embrace that, keep a humble spirit about the advice you’ll receive that is so often well meant, but don’t let the pressure (much of it is so unnecessary) cripple you.

The journey of parenthood is definitely uncharted waters for me, so I desire the flavor of my words to be that of exploration and full of humility. I laugh, I so don’t have things figured out or know what I’m doing, words I write now I may dearly wish to retract later. I know this will probably be the case in so many moments ahead. But I don’t want the lie of “having it all to together” to hinder me from sharing the journey, there is so much to learn in this phase of discovery.
Excited to link arms as we learn + experience new seasons of life together, choosing to build each other up instead of tearing down.

A few of the resources pictured in case you’re curious:
Moses Basket + Stand
Rocking Chair
Changing Table
Changing Basket
Gray Wool Baskets
Natural Mesh Bags
Wooden Hangers
Wall Bookshelves
Diaper Bag

/ explore

ITALIA: Rome

Oh Roma, what have you done to my heart.

Out of all the cities we explored in Italy, this was our final stop and definitely wowed me in ways you’ll never know unless you go. We spent three full days “roaming” the cobblestone streets, put more miles on our shoes than we probably EVER have, ate some of the best food of our lives, and saw ancient history like never before.
Seeing places I’ve only ever read about; the Roman Forum, Colosseum, the Vatican + St. Peter’s Basilica, the Spanish Steps, and Trevi Fountain. The aesthetic of this place was surreal, the history intriguing and saddening, all around it was the grand finale of our trip. I’m so glad we saved it for last too, because I’m not sure our stamina would’ve held out any more afterwards. I’ll outline our days briefly and then let the pictures follow and speak for themselves, because they most definitely should.

Arrival Day:
Checked in at our AirBnb , which we could not recommend highly enough! Since we arrived in the late afternoon, we quickly napped before deciding on our game plan for the rest of the evening. We decided to tackle the Roman Forum first, and leave the Colosseum for when we had a full day (due to the crazy long lines.) So after a yummy panini sandwich stop we walked to the heart of the city, breath-taken at the grandeur of it all.  The Roman Forum was absolutely incredible, even though mostly ruins, it painted a crazy picture of the Roman lifestyle and how advanced, brilliant, and creative they were for their time. We spent our time wandering here until it closed, then it was off to our first Roman dinner by the Colosseum and my favorite gelato of the trip; fresh frigola (strawberry), nutella, and greek yogurt. 

Day Two:
The Vatican and St. Peter’s Basilica. Both took an entire day due to the long lines, and were definitely the most exhausting part of the trip. We were throughly worn out by day’s end but of course, seeing all the ancient artifacts was so worth it. And our climb up St. Peter’s Dome was perfection, getting drizzled in the afternoon rain, the view of Rome under our feed was astounding. We ended the day with incredible Italian cuisine near our little apartment, our feet refusing to carry us any further. 

 

 

Day Three:
The Colosseum, Vespa ride, Spanish Steps and Trevi Fountain.
We fit in so much on our last full day, and of course my favorite was the enormous Colosseum whose testament to years of history was dumbfounding. The lines were incredibly long our whole stay in Rome, and today was no different, but it was worth every minute in the hot sun. And our first Vespa ride to the Spanish Steps was nerve wracking and adventurous, but oh so thrilling once we got the hang of the brakes. : )
I wish we had waited until later in the day to see the Spanish Steps and Trevi Fountain to avoid the crazy crowds and to truly soak in the beautiful sights, but regardless it was picturesque. And my favorite souvenirs from the trip were two polaroid prints a local took of us at the Trevi Fountain.  

So concludes our Italian adventure, two weeks of the best adventures of my life. I knew my first trip to Europe would be unforgettable and that I would love it, but our stop on Italian soil was an experience I will relive forever and I just can’t wait to hopefully make it back someday. Thanks for following along, until the next adventure…

Arrivederci,
A B B Y

/ explore

ITALIA: The Alps

When I thought about Italy I always pictured the cities. The squished together townhomes, the piazzas, the night lights, and colorful atmosphere. I never dreamed just how much natural and majestic beauty there was by traveling into the alps region. I’m so grateful to our friends and tour guides who suggested we take a day off from the craziness of the city and explore the Trentino region, just a short two hour road trip from Vicenza. It was the breath of fresh air (literally) we needed and turned out to be one of my very favorite days of the whole trip.
We spent most of our time at the Castle of Avio, a 12th century fortress nestled in the Vallagarina valley, my first ever castle exploration experience and it did everything to wow me. Admiring the ancient architecture so beautifully preserved, wandering the olive groves, having a spaghetti lunch within the walls, and the whole experience just made better by being surrounded by little knights in shining armor.
But we also took the rest of the day driving the scenic route into the alps and stopping at several rifugio along the way to enjoy cappuccinos, strudel, and an amazing dinner in the incredibly cooler temps amidst snow capped mountains.
Living in the mountains of Tennessee, I thought I knew what “mountains” were, I was soon proved very wrong by the majesty of the Italian alps. I have a feeling very little will ever compare to the grandness we savored here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Though the Austrian alps were further north, I couldn’t help but feel “Sound of Music” vibes during our time here, especially when snacking on apple strudel.  : )

salve!
A B B Y